


The Problem with Roommates

by InsominiacArrest



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Mutual Masturbation, Roommates, Shower Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 15:42:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6913186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsominiacArrest/pseuds/InsominiacArrest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Having a roommate is hard, it doesn't help when they discover the fun of having a body, Lapis and Peridot try to work out masturbation rules as they try to live together</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Problem with Roommates

Lapis flew back to the barn, landing gently on the roof and entering in through a small hatch in the ceiling, she exhales gently and looks at the blue ball she had collected. Steven would like this.

 

“Oooooh,” Lapis freezes in place as she goes down the stairs and her eyebrows furrow, “oh yeah, right there.”  
  
Lapis stomps her foot on the ground and loudly tramps to the clean living area on the ground level.

“Peridot!” She huffs.

“Nnnh?” She hears a confused voice coming from a little mattress installed in the corner.

She leans over the bed with her hands on her hips, Peridot blinks up at her with her right hand firmly down the front of her trousers.

Peridot looks her up and down slowly, “Lazuli if don’t want to become part of this particular fantasy I suggest you leave.”  
  
Lapis narrows her eyes at her, “this is literally the third time in the last two days.”  


Peridot scratches her chin with her free hand, “so?”  
  
“So, it’s distracting.” Lapis says with a heavy sigh.

 

“Like I didn’t catch you three inches deep in your human anatomy yesterday.” She says absently as she looks down at herself.

“That’s not the point.” Lapis says with her eyes on the ceiling, “what if someone hears us?”  


“Then be more quiet. This isn’t rocket science, and this is one of the few truly intriguing parts of earth.” She wiggles her fingers inside of her green outerwear and Lapis rolls her eyes.

Lapis grabs at a long list on the wall, “rules we need more rules.”  
  
Peridot shakes her head, “can you at least wait until I finish?” She whines, “I was very close to a 'climax' and honestly the Quartz was just about to rim--”  
  
“Alright, alright.” Lapis walks to the other side of the barn and settles down in her own nest.

 

“Oooooh~” She covers her ears but can’t help but form her own sexual anatomy and rub it shamelessly up against a pillow as Peridot moaned near her.

 

“Unbelievable,” She huffs as she searches for friction.

 

They don’t end up talking about the rules that night.

 

\--------------

 

Lapis looked around the small barn the next night, “hello?” She calls softly, but with no reply she settles herself back up against the wall and soft pillows and blankets.

 

“Oh yeah,” she hitches her skirt up and starts to explore her human female parts. It was supposed to have a longer release time than the males, and it’s not like she had anything better to do.

 

She tosses her head back and starts poking and prodding, it feels warm and loose and she feels herself leaking on the blankets. The insides are soft and hands can hit just the right places when she crooks them in the right direction.

First she just imagines a mysterious female gem, nameless and cool to the touch, but then familiar moans start emanating from her memory and she bites her lip.

She focuses on those long drawn out ‘ohs’ and little fingers forced inside herself.

“Ah,” Lapis feels herself building up, she grabs onto some water and forms it into a hard object, easing it into herself and arching off the floor as she thrusts into herself with the liquid, “ah, ah, ah.”

Her eyes are squeezed shut, the world is very small.

“Lazuli!” Lapis’s breath hitches and she almost cums right then and there, “stars, you’re doing it again!”

 

Lapis blinks open her eyes and tries to concentrate, “wha?”

 

“Blankets, Lazuli, stop ruining our blankets!” Lapis shakes her head and tries to focus her eyes, Peridot hovered above her shaking a piece of fabric in her hands. “I don’t want to know what my roommates juices smell like! But I do, I know exactly what your human genitals smell like because you keep humping pillows and dripping everywhere.”  
  
Lapis blushes and reaches out to kick her, “just do laundry. Black holes, I’ll do laundry.” She tries to shoo her off.

 

“I hate laundry, you hate laundry, no one was even supposed to use this material. It was decoration Lazuli.”

 

“You masturbate every other hour and you're coming down on me?” Lapis says indignantly as she sits back up.

  
“Yeah, yeah,” Peridot waves her off, “but _I_ clean up.”  
  
“I clean.” Lapis projects defensively.

 

“Then why does this blanket smell like you?” She holds a blue cotton sheet up, “I hate laundry.”  
  
“We know.” Lapis crosses her hands and they glare at each other.

 

“You are the worst room mate.”  
  
They nod at each other and Lapis gets back up to help Peridot figure out a washing machine. She didn’t even get to finish.

 

\-----------

 

“Okay.” They finally sit at opposite ends of a table, “we have a problem.” Lapis concedes.

 

“We just need rules.” Peridot proclaims as she picks up a long list of numerals and bullet points, rules already made between the two of them.

 

“Garnet suggested we just hang a sock on the door whenever one of us is, uh indulging ourselves.” Lapsi says thoughtfully, “whatever that means.”  
  
“We need hours.” Peridot declares as she takes out a clock, “so we can coordinate when we clean up and when we can be loud.” She smiles, “it will be like homeworld. Everything will have order.”  
  
Lapis gives a half smile, “they definitely didn’t have this on homeworld.”  
  
“Granted.” Peridot nods at her, “rule one, Lazuli has to do it standing up in the bathtub.” She writes down.

 

“No!” Lapis clucks and hits her, “well Peridot has to wear a gag and silence whatever that vrrring thing is.” Lapis tries to scribble that down and Peridot pushes on her face.

“It’s called a ‘sexual organ stimulator wow-ee machine'.” Peridot declares, “I invented it myself.” She says proudly.

Lapis snickers, “I wondered what all those sparks and cackling was about a month ago.”  
  
Peridot shakes her head, “between the hours of midnight and 4 in the morning Lapis and Peridot may--”  
  
“Hey, wait,” Lapis grabs at the pen, “you’re just doing that because you know I like to sleep at those times and this way you’ll be able to masturbate more than me.”

Peridot raises an eyebrow, “Why would I want to do that?”  
  
“I don’t know!” Lapis throws her arms in the air.

“Well,” Peridot puts her hands on her hips, “it only makes sense to have it when all the other humans are asleep, we can be noisier.”  
  
“I thought we were gagging you?”  
  
“Like supernova’s we are!” Peridot throws her pen at her.

 

“Really, because that is my main fantasy.” She flicks her on the ear, “you being quiet for an hour.”  
  
Peridot jumps on her, “gag me then, humph.” She forces her on the floor, “you leak everywhere!” She accuses and tries to put Lapis in a headlock.

 

“Section two number 23a!” Lapis squirms, “no headlocks!” She quotes the rules and struggles in Peridot's arms.

 

“Section two subsection 4, unless the other gem is being really annoying!”

They wrestle on the floor, Lapis is stronger but Peridot is more flexible and squirms out of her arms and gets one of her robots to apprehend Lapis, pinning one of her wrists to the ground.

 

“No fair!” Lapis kicks her and Peridot jumps on her to her her down, straddling her hips to keep her legs in place.

 

“All's fair in my right to masturbate when and wherever I want.”  
  
“I’m going to call the gems,” Lapis pouts, “and I thought we wanted rules.”  
  
“Rules for you.” Peridot clarifies.

 

Lapis frowns, “you don’t even value it, you do it too much.”  
  
“That just means I appreciate it the most! Honestly I don’t see how humans get any work down, no wonder they don’t have better space travel, they were busy touching themselves.”  
  
Lapis laughs and tries to cover her mouth, but just keeps laughing.

 

Peridot smiles down at her, “why is there so much water from yours anyway?” Peridot asks as she continues to slouch against her as Lapis complained.

Lapis blushes, “I use it, for, you know.”  
  
Peridot blinks at her, “and that feels good? Isn’t it too soft? It is a very exact science.”  
  
Lapis shakes her head, “you wouldn’t get it.” She sticks her tongue out at her, “you _couldn’t_ get it.”  
  
Peridot picks up the rules, “section five rule five,” she writes down over their scribbles, “roommates help roommates masturbate better...More better.”  
  
“That’s not a word!” Lapis tries to kick her again from the ground.

Peridot evades her, “I have the rules!” She does a little dance, Lapis almost throws a tantrum. "You have to show me."

“Alright. I’ll do it to you, but you have to quiet yourself. I don’t want to hear you complain while I fuck you.” Lapis says assertively.

Peridot jumps up and down, “excellent!”

 

She unlocks Lapis from her claw robot which anchored her to the floor and Lapis ties a handkerchief around Peridot’s mouth.

She makes Peridot get down on her hands and knees and quickly strips her of her little shorts to reveal an already formed ass and pussy.

“Are you always in human form?” Lapis asks curiously, Peridot says something beneath her restraints and Lapis just shrugs.

She summons a head of water and takes it into a blunt cylinder. “Ready?”

Peridot gives her a thumbs up and Lapis presses into her slowly, savoring how Peridot wiggled her ass in the air and made Lapis’s mouth water.

She finds herself deep inside her and then begins the process of plunging in and out of her roughly, Peridot barely manages to stay upright as she thrusts into her little body, she shakes on the floor and Lapis braces herself on her shoulders.

Peridot is of course, not quite, “mmph, mmm, phh!” She makes wordless moans and yelps through her gag and Lapis loves every minute of it.

 

She rocks in and out of her until she sees Peridot shaking and collapsing to the floor in one long groan. She came.

Lapis nods approvingly, “see?” She says as she gathers the gem in her arms and helps her take off her handkerchief, “it’s fun. Lapis should be allowed to use whatever she wants on herself.”  
  
Peridot nods woozily, “and she should share.”  
  
Lapis giggles and kisses her on the cheek impulsively.  
  
“What was that?” Peridot rubs the place Lapis’s lips touched her.

“Uh, nothing.” She drops her unceremoniously on the floor.

  
“Here.” Peridot crawls up to her with a small drill in her hands, “it works best if you lay still.”

“What is it?”  
  
“I told you. My machine. Honestly, I’m surprised humans don’t invent more of these.”  
  
Lapis wrinkles her nose, “water is better.”

  
Peridot raises an eyebrow, “wanna bet?”  
  
“No! I want roommate rules, we masturbate too much.”

“Or not enough?” Peridot offers and Lapis shakes her head. She places the little machine on the ground and Lapis continues to stare at it.

“Here,” Peridot took out her watch, “you made me cum in 10 minutes. If I can do that in less, I get to make the rules.” She puffs out her little chest and Lapis cocks up an eyebrow.

“And if I win, I make the rules?”  
  
Peridot shrugs, “sure.” She looked sure of herself, but Lapis could think of a rule or two she would like for the little barn.

 

Lapis sits down on the ground and opens her legs. Peridot cheers and claps her hands together, “here we go!”

 

She presses a button on the large purple machine and it unfurls itself.

“Uh,” Lapis’s mouth opens a little bit, the machine spouts little spindly legs and crawls towards her like a demon.

“You need your legs more open.” Peridot intervenes and parts Lapis's knees all the way.

“Eep!” Lapis’s eyes roll back into her head as the creature burrows inside her. It’s large and wet, all movement and no grace as it presses against her insides and stimulates the ball of nerves on her sex. Her sensitive ridges shake and the thing inside her starts to vibrate.

 

“Ah!” She gasps gently as it starts pumping in and out on its little legs.

 

“I told you, it works best when you lay still.”  
  
Lapis finds herself being pinned down by Peridot as she climbs on top of her and holds down her wrists and anchors her chest down, Lapis arches off the wood.

 

She watches Peridot’s acid green eyes and the little machine she made digging deeper and deeper inside her.

 

“Touch me,” she moans and forms two human breasts that peak through the material of her thin top.

 

Peridot blushes above her, Lapis arches and squirms as the purple machine touches her in just the right way, sending electric shocks up her spine.

 

Her eyes are screwed shut when she feels a wet little tongue descend on her human nipples.

  
“Peridot!” She gasps and tries to raise up, but her hands remain above her head in Peridot's grasp and her chest is accosted by a warm mouth sucking on her tit.

 

“Ah,” she yells and tosses her head back forcefully. The machine increases in speed, it must know when she is close.

 

Peridot nips at her with sharp teeth and grinds against Lapis’s middle, Lapis cums in a wave of white light and a little vrrring a machine.

 

“Peridot,” she gasps again and cums with a little spasm dancing through her insides at the end.

 

The machine seems to turn itself off after that as it crawls out of her and Peridot gets off her and puts Lapis’s head on her lap.

  
“Don’t try to get up.” She says smugly, “it can have that effect on gems.”  
  
Lapis sighs and shakes her head, “you are the worst roommate.”  
  
Peridot chuckles, “I still get to make the rules this time.” She declares tapping on a nearby clock and Lapis sighs and closes her eyes, did this happen to everyone?


End file.
